January 3, 1968
Mother arrives forty-five
minutes late
And I come with my work unfinished! The work remains to be done (Mother points to a bundle of letters)…. Now the nights begin at 11 P.M., no more lunch, of course rest is out of the question, and no more exercises, so … And people and people and more people … at least a quarter of whom go back unsatisfied, without my having seen them, because I don’t have the time.
I think it’s because my whole life long, until the age of about forty, I was perhaps the most punctual person in the world: I was always right on the dot – maybe there was something proud which has got a good knock!
That’s how it is.
But one thing is sure, it’s that the minute one goes out of the usual mental rhythm based on thoughts (I am talking about the body), as soon as it has gone out of that, it has extraordinary endurance. What makes things especially difficult is thoughts, fears, the old habits and all that….
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