February 5, 1969
I have a feeling there was something, and then … (Mother searches for something on the table beside her). There was positively something to be done … and you’ll see, once you’ve left, I’ll find it again! I remember having said, "Ah, I will do this on Wednesday with Satprem."
Oh, maybe it’s here (Mother looks at her cluttered table), there’s a heap of letters … frightening!
Too bad.
It was something interesting ….
(long silence)
At the same time, I remember a vision of the night in which I did a work with numbers and put the numbers – figures and groups of figures – in a certain position. That’s what I wanted to tell you. In
Page 44
the "dream" (if we can call it a dream), I said to myself that I should show it to you.
Now I remember … it comes like this (gesture from behind Mother’s head). And then, it’s associated with groups of people who are everywhere, spread all over the earth, and in relation with … which planet? I don’t know, planets. And I remember saying to myself (all that during the night, not after waking up), while preparing that whole arrangement … I still see the arrangement of figures I was preparing, they were quite living – the figures were living things, groups of figures I was arranging, with one arrangement like this, one arrangement like that … (Mother seems to move about the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle), and in fact you were there, and I told you that when it was like this (Mother draws one particular arrangement) it expressed such and such a thing, while when it was like that (another arrangement of the puzzle), it expressed such and such other thing. And at the same time, I said, "Not only does it express this thing, but it has a power for realizing it …."
All that is there (Mother gestures behind her head, as if to show a memory in the background), somewhere there. And it was connected with groups of people who were in different places of the earth.
And it was … well, well! It was the "ciphered" expression – the ciphered expression of the application to life in a coming realization: the expression of the life ahead, but not very far ahead; for instance, in the following century, the century starting now.
So that’s probably what remained in the memory, which made me want to tell you something. But I can still see the arrangement of figures. I spent a long time – a long time-arranging the figures. A long time.
A truer, more universal application, and with the spiritual knowledge: the principle of the position and utilization of individuals on earth. And I don’t know why, it particularly interested you. You were with me, with this arrangement of figures, and I showed you (same gesture of the pieces of a puzzle being moved about) … two columns here and one column there; but living columns: not on paper – not on paper, in the air. I don’t know how to explain that, it was in the air, and I arranged, moved the figures about like this (same gesture), and those figures were LIVING, they weren’t written on a paper.
There were different groups of figures … (Mother tries to remember), yes, there were two groups: some were blue (dark blue), and others golden yellow, and … (how can I explain?) they weren’t
Page 45
male-female, but they were two principles, the two principles-the principle of … not creation, but conception (gesture coming down from above), and the principle of realization.
When I do that I am wholly conscious: it’s not a dream (I don’t sleep in the ordinary way; I am as if asleep, but I don’t sleep; and I don’t "dream": I ACT), I am wholly conscious, with the same kind of consciousness as the waking consciousness – it’s not a dream. I was doing that, and explaining to you how all those figures were organizing themselves and determining future events.
When I wake up, or get up, rather (I can’t say "wake up"), when I get up and enter into activity, it goes away – "goes away," not that it stops: it remains in its world. It’s only now, because you are present, that it has made contact with the memory.
It went on for several hours. It wasn’t the "conception" of a work, it was THE work itself, like … like when there are levers and things you move to set other things in motion (Mother draws a big control panel in an electronic room), it was something like that, but it wasn’t that at all! It was the organization of those groups of figures that determined the events and the ORDER of events (especially the order of events) and their location on earth. And probably, while I was doing it, something wanted me to tell you, and left an impression that I had something to tell you; then everything went away. When I come back to this life, everything goes away; and it’s only because I now tried to remember that I could (gesture of contact with the memory) catch it: I tried, and it came back. But I realize (almost with surprise) that it must have lasted at least two hours, or more – two to two and a half hours. I don’t sleep at all, but I am active, absolutely active in the … (Mother tries to situate the zone) – what’s being prepared to manifest on earth, I don’t know if we should call it "subtle physical" or … It’s the creative zone of the physical, it’s there. And as I can’t run from one place to another, what I do is linked through figures, like that-living figures. Living figures: I organize them, group them together, and I remember what I did the previous day; I say, "No, yesterday it was that way, but now it has to be this way," and with the knowledge that it will have to be changed again tomorrow. And that’s what determines events. But the consciousness (the waking or ordinary consciousness) MUST NOT know what’s decided there; it must know only a part necessary to the execution. That’s why there is a break – it remains, it keeps on living there like that (gesture behind the head), but it doesn’t come through …. It’s wholly because at that time [during the "dream"] I made the decision to tell you about it that I
Page 46
could catch the memory, otherwise … Although I SEE; I see those figures, that’s why I can describe them, but they no longer mean anything for me. And I am not sure whether they are figures or letters …. They were figures, I know they were; some figures were golden, others were blue (but those aren’t our material colors, neither our substance nor our material colors), and I kept arranging them: one group like this, another group like that (gesture like a moving puzzle), then I would choose. Strange. And I must have been very tall, because the figures were big; I would take them and place them (it was on a large surface), and as I placed them, it established a communication and organized the events immediately ahead.
Perhaps I do remember …
Last night, I knew I was doing it every night, but during the night … There was (but then, in the body, yesterday in the waking state) a sort of aspiration to know what the functioning would be, the action in the superman consciousness. I said, "Having this consciousness around oneself [like a rampart] is very fine, but one must also know what changes there will be in the body’s functioning, in the work, in one’s workings." So then, this experience [of the figures] was like an answer to make me learn a little the future way. But what’s strange is that I did it exactly as they now do with those big electric machines, with all kinds of levers (gesture like a control panel in a power plant), I did it in that way, moving things and … Only, I think I must have been a little taller than I am …. I don’t know. In any case, I would place the objects (same gesture like a moving puzzle) … They weren’t objects, they were something … but it had a fixed form – it was fixed – and there was a sort of store (not a "storeroom," I don’t know how to put it), a store from where I drew things, which I would put and arrange like that. The arrangement was continuous in its whole, but with changes in the details.
If I remembered exactly, it would be very interesting.
For some time there has been in my active consciousness a
preoccupation that comes with great force, but which isn’t per
sonal because the speculative mind isn’t working. It’s like a force
coming over me again and again with a will, but I don’t know
what will. And the preoccupation is, "the ruin of Science and
what will happen after the ruin of Science."
Oh!
Page 47
You know, the end of the big "mental balloon," and what will
happen after, or the transition from the one to the other. It’s like
a problem being sent to me – in connection with medicine, or
new discoveries, or the students’ revolution …. It’s pressed on me
from every side.
Well, well …
And especially this: the ruin of Science. There is a kind of force
that wants … I don’t know if it’s to do something, or say some
thing, or write … but it seems to drive me in this direction,
towards this problem. [[Eleven years later, in February 1980, Satprem will complete his Mind of the Cells. ]]
Yes, it must evidently be the same force, because it wanted me to show you and explain to you, and you were WATCHING the work. I even made some reflections now and then, I would tell you, "These figures" (but I didn’t call them "figures," I don’t know), "this I put here because of that …." I gave you explanations.
It’s odd.
From every side it comes to me.
It must be an activity of this [superman] consciousness, because it’s not something I’ve had for a long time. Last night, I knew I had been doing it regularly every night, but not for a long time. It must have come with this consciousness.
I should also say that yesterday (yesterday in my ordinary consciousness, I mean when I was here), there were two things: I thought about you, and said to myself … (it wasn’t yesterday, it was the last time I saw you, last Saturday) after Saturday, I had something that wanted me to know how this [superman] force acted with you; so it’s in response to that that I saw you last night and explained to you the whole working. And you participated consciously, that is, you understood perfectly well all that I was doing – you participated consciously.
It’s interesting. It will grow clearer and clearer.
But strangely, it doesn’t at all come from "Me": it’s really as if I
were driven to this problem, the solution to this problem.
Yes.
Page 48
Why, I don’t know.
Yes … And this vision [with the big control panel], it was like an application of scientific means, but quite different! And it was entirely based on … There was no thought, no reasoning, nothing of all that: it was a force going like this (gesture of a descent imposing itself), as it always does, and it impelled the action. So I saw; I saw, I knew I had to do this or that, and though I didn’t think at all, I was able to explain why, that is to say, I was able to say in advance that it was FOR such and such a thing. It was the combination of these two colors of figures (maybe it’s a translation in my consciousness? Anyway …), the blue figures and the golden ones. And the priority for action was always the golden figures; the blue ones came as if to fill a gap. It had a shape (same gesture like a moving puzzle), it had a shape. It’s odd. it’s odd, it was so natural, so spontaneous and HABITUAL: nothing in the being remembered it with surprise, that is to say, it didn’t remember as one would remember having dreamt and done something – nothing of the sort, it was quite natural: I did it "like that" and was quite aware that I was doing it every night …. And if I remember right, it was between midnight and 3 in the morning (a little earlier or later).
But it has a strong action, I mean it COMMANDS the action on earth, and it’s not subjected in any way or tied down to anything below: it’s like this (gesture of a descent imposing itself). And it constantly receives the Will or the Power of action from above – not "above," it’s not above, it’s … (Mother makes a sort of gesture meaning it is "everywhere inside") "superior" in the true sense.
This body RECEIVES things. It receives them. It doesn’t feel it’s … I don’t know how to explain (the thought isn’t working). All of a sudden it felt the need to know the effect this [superman] consciousness will have on the consciousness here, how it will work. And then, for you, I wondered, "Where and how does this consciousness act?" And that’s why I’ve had this experience [of figures] – that’s not "why," it was preliminary to the experience, it came to draw my attention to the need to know that …. Odd! it’s odd.
You see, it had left an impression: I thought I had something material to show you [at the beginning of the conversation, when Mother was looking for something on her table]. It had left a deep impression.
(silence
Mother tries to look at the clock)
Page 49
It’s five to eleven.
Perhaps it’s the beginning of something interesting ….
Do you have anything to say?
At what time did I call you in?
A little after 10:15.
Already …
Everything is beginning to be very uncertain ….
Strangely, one doesn’t remember things in the same way; the memory works in quite another way, quite another way It’s as if things came onto a screen (gesture of projection in front), imposing themselves; then some withdraw, go away (they are there [gesture behind Mother], but they don’t draw the attention), then on some other occasion they come like that (same gesture of projection in front of Mother’s eyes). A strange functioning. It’s not a mental memory of words or … not at all: it’s the things THEMSELVES that are projected.
Maybe we’re changing a bit! (Laughing) That wouldn’t be too soon!
Page 50