July 21, 1971
What do you have to say?
What about you?
Me? I still have a cold. I was cured, I was almost cured, but … (gesture of an avalanche). But this isn’t interesting.
What’s interesting is that the body is becoming more and more conscious, but conscious in a very interesting way.
For example?
That would mean mentalizing. I can’t.
(silence)
Page 199
I am beginning to know what’s going to happen, what people are going to tell me, all that. How can I explain it?… It’s as if I had BECOME the circumstances, the people, the words, the….
The body is more and more conscious, but not at all mentally — like … like things actually lived. I don’t know how to say it. It’s hard to explain…. It’s sensing or having the … (I don’t know how to explain exactly what it is) how, in the manifestation, the human consciousness distorts the Divine Action (gesture of direct flow). It’s our constitution which is so pitiable. We reduce, distort, diminish EVERYTHING — everything. We know things (Knowledge is there all around us, in us), but we are so complicated that we distort it. Everyone is that way…. So then, this is a kind of very accurate sensation of everything that is organized by the inner Divine from within, and at the same time how it gets distorted as it surfaces (words are silly, and yet that’s the closest I can come). It’s our silly way of saying something that is … so simple and so marvelous!… But we are so perverted that we always choose what is distorted.
I don’t know, even my words distort the thing, but it’s … it’s something I feel is so simple, so luminous, so pure — so absolute. And then, we make of it what we can see around us: a complicated and almost incomprehensible life.
But what about you, don’t you have any news?
I’m in a phase I don’t understand very well.
Ah!… Well, tell me, that way we can find out what it is.
There’s nothing to tell…. I don’t know, it’s like a collapse of
everything or a destruction of everything. There’s no more
base. Previously there were a certain number of "truths," let’s
say …
Aha!
… which were plain to me, like what I expressed in my books
– it’s as if all that had turned to dust. As if it didn’t have any
… yes, it’s dust. I don’t have a single sure idea I can lean on.
There are no more reference points.
But that’s exactly what I just said in different words! Everything
Page 200
we think (it’s been ages since I had any ideas), is like that, it seems so futilely futile, I don’t know.
Yes. I well understand that all thought is futile and deceptive,
that, I do understand. But one would like to have a beacon …
a practical beacon: to understand.
But for me the practical beacon is very simple: the Divine. That’s the only concrete thing for me.
Yes, of course, there’s the Force, I always feel the Force and …
and it’s very pleasant, if I may say so.
But that’s it, you see, there’s only that!
But I feel I’m walking like a blind man in that Force.
Yes….
Well, being blind isn’t pleasant!
Yes, of course. Yes, but…. But why not! (Mother laughs) It’s come to such a point that…. For instance, I am here, there are lots of circumstances, complications, people … and everything is so tangled up; but then in the background there is a sort of … it’s not a mere Force, it’s a CONSCIOUSNESS-Force — a consciousness — and it’s like a … like a smile — a smile … a smile that knows everything. That’s it, you see. So, when I am quiet (gesture of open hands), it’s as if nothing existed and all is marvelous. Then, as soon as people speak to me or I see someone, all the complications are back — they make a mess of everything.
I am sure that it’s the passage from this life to that Life. When we are completely on that side, oh, we’ll stop speculating, wanting to “explain,” wanting to deduce, conclude, arrange — all that will be over…. If we knew how … to be — simply to BE, to be. But for us, I have noticed, if we don’t speak, if we don’t think, if we don’t decide, we feel we are outside life…. And besides it’s not always the same kind of silence. It isn’t the silence of unexpressed words, it’s the silence of … an active contemplation. The silence of an active contemplation. That’s it.
It’s certainly the preparation for a new mode of life. So the other one has to yield its place.
Page 201
I see (as through a veil or as if it were very far away) a Power, an EXTRAORDINARY Power! But we are such imbeciles we don’t even accept it. I know, I’ve had some experiences these past few days…. I have this vision in which the psychic consciousness sees that through this instrument, through this (but this — Mother pinches the skin of her hands — has nothing to do with it except being the link between things as they are and the things that are to be), well, through this, A GREAT NUMBER of miracles are being done; and they are so extraordinary (lately) that it occurred to no one that they were miracles! … One simply doesn’t know. It’s not a miracle as we conceive of it — an extraordinary miracle…. But then … they don’t have any means of understanding.
(silence)
Therefore the body is no longer this, but is not yet “that.” It is like this (gesture of swinging between the two), and that’s why … this is not a cold, it’s…. Sometimes I am completely cured, everything, but everything works well, a minute later, everything breaks down. It’s not a cold you “cure.” Taking a medicine does not make any difference, while if you go into the true consciousness, everything is over. But it is incapable of staying there. It’s not so much the contact with people, it’s that it is incapable of staying there, that’s what it is. It can’t blame anyone else.
It is no longer this, it is not yet “that” — no longer this, not yet “that.” There you are. So … (same gesture of swinging back and forth).
It is conscious of “that,” but momentarily: just what is required to be able to maintain continuity. That’s all.
(silence)
The only difference….
We could say: nothing knows — anywhere or anybody; but there are those who aspire (how shall I put it?), who have the will, the inclination, the aspiration, the need to know — to know and to be — and then all those who don’t care … who go along or just live their little-big life — whether it’s a head of state or a street cleaner makes no difference. It’s the same thing, the vibrations are the same. I don’t know how to explain it. I am saying it awkwardly.
No. I understand.
Page 202
It’s so imperfect that….
(Mother gives up speaking and goes within)
Page 203