(Regarding the conversation of May 18 in which Mother said that ninety percent of the visions and dreams in the vital, or even on the other, higher planes, are subjective.)
All the same, there is something disturbing about that almost total subjectivity.
Ah, why?
You wonder what's true, what you really encounter. Isn't it all a figment of your imagination?... It's a bit disquieting.
But when you have the positive experience of the sole and exclusive existence of the Supreme and that everything is just the play of the Supreme with Himself, instead of its being something disquieting or unpleasant or unsettling, it's on the contrary a sort of total security.
The only reality is the Supreme. And all this is a game He plays with Himself. I find this much more comforting than the other way around.
And to begin with, this is the only certitude that it can become something marvelous, otherwise ...
That, too, depends on the stand one takes. A complete identification with the play as play, as a self-existent and independent thing, is probably necessary, first in order to play the game as one should play it. But at one point one does in fact reach that detachment, such a complete disgust for the whole falsehood of existence that it becomes intolerable unless one sees it as the inner play of the Lord in Himself, for Himself.
And then, one feels that absolute and perfect freedom thanks to which the most marvelous possibilities become realizable, all the most sublime things that can be imagined are realizable.
(Mother goes into contemplation, then opens "Savitri":)
And earth [shall] grow unexpectedly divine (I.IV.55)
It's a consolation....
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(silence)
You'll see, there comes a point when you can tolerate yourself and life only if you take the attitude that the Lord is everything. See, that Lord, how many things He possesses: He plays with all that - He plays, He plays at ... changing the positions. And then, when you see it, that whole, you feel the limitless marvel, and that whatever the object of the most marvelous aspiration, it's all quite possible and will even be surpassed. Then you are consoled. Otherwise, this existence ... is inconsolable. But that way, it becomes charming. One day, I will tell you.
When you have the sense of the unreality of life - the unreality of life - compared with a reality that's certainly found beyond, but at the same time WITHIN life, then ... ah, yes, THAT is true at last - THAT is true at last and deserves to be true. That is the realization of all possible splendors, all possible marvels, all, yes, all possible felicities, all possible beauties - that, yes, otherwise ...
Do you understand?
That's the point I have reached.
So then, I feel as if I still have one foot here, one foot there, which isn't a very pleasant situation because ... because you would like there to remain nothing but That.
The present way of being is a past that really should no longer exist. While the other way, ah, at last! At last!... That's why there is a world.
And everything remains just as concrete and just as real - it doesn't become misty. It's just as concrete, just as real, but ... it becomes divine, because ... because it IS the Divine. It's the Divine playing.
There, mon petit.
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