I gave you a very long speech quite early this morning: you were sleeping. Didn't you hear?
What did you tell me!
Oh, it was very long....
It wasn't personal. I told you how the true movement gets distorted, and I gave you examples. Very interesting examples because they don't look like much, but it's something fundamental, in the sense that that's how Truth is turned into falsehood. And it's so subtle that unless one has experienced it, mentally one cannot understand. What I explained to you was the experience, and there were two examples, which I told you in a very precise way ... now I don't remember the words.
You don't remember?
The words were of the kind that come ready-made, like that; so if now I try to remember, that's not it anymore. When it comes, I'll tell you.
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I've often had the experience (on another plane, I suppose) that the current inexplicably seemed to be reversed: things stop being harmonious, and there's no knowing why.
The why is very simple: it's always separation - the individual separating himself, always. So, according to everyone's nature, there is more or less egoism, but there is separation. Now I see the false movement: it's when the consciousness falls back into an old habit. And as it's an old habit - very old habit - you don't feel it as a fall: it's a tiny little movement like this (Mother twists something between her thumb and index finger).
I know - this morning, it was very clear.
You see, everything is the Supreme's action to hasten the return of the individual consciousness to the Consciousness - the supreme Consciousness; so then, through the individual (I don't know if you'll be able to follow), the pressure of the Force to be accepted is turned into a will to make itself understood. That's the distortion. And you see, it's extremely subtle. But by "will," I mean a will in the human way, you understand. The pressure of the Force (Mother lays her right hand flat on top of her left hand) to make itself understood by the consciousness (the left hand below), the pressure of the Force on the consciousness to transform it is turned in the intermediary individual into a will to make itself understood.
Another thing. There is instinctively, that is to say, almost subconsciously, almost involuntarily, not a will or an anxiety, or even a curiosity, but a sort of habit of observation: the habit of observing the effect produced on others (it's not bluntly what they think or feel, their opinion; it's not as blunt as that because as soon as it assumes that proportion it makes one smile). It's a sort of habit, a habit of looking at every circumstance not only as you see it, but, at the same time, as, let's say, others see it. It's not an "anxiety" but you take it into account; you take it into account not for its result, but you automatically take it into account in the reaction of the consciousness: what others feel, think, their reactions; not exactly their opinion, but the feeling of their reaction. It's a sort of habit. And that is the fallacious distortion of the sense of Oneness. Of course, we are all ONE, and in the distorted consciousness this oneness is translated as a noticing, an observation (I am not referring to those who are concerned with themselves and for whom it's important, that's not what I mean: it's in the functioning of the consciousness). And that movement of observation has a place,
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but in this form, it's not a true place. So then, it's so subtle.... There is the sense of Oneness, that every movement of the consciousness has repercussions everywhere, in all consciousnesses because there is only one consciousness, and the distortions are different; it's the distortions that make for diversity.
(silence)
Yet another thing. There is an intense and constant aspiration for Union. It always begins with self-giving - the spontaneous self-giving to the Supreme. But then, there is, mixed into it ... (how can I express it?) the expectation (is it an expectation? It's almost just a noticing) ... it's not an anxiety for, but rather an expectation, yes, of the result. In other words, in that great will and aspiration for the manifestation of Harmony, of Love in the Truth, in that thirst of the whole, entire being for That which is the source of that Harmony, to the movement of aspiration is added the perception (it's more than the perception: it's the expectation), the expectation of the result, and then, it gets warped (same twisting gesture).
And what I am saying now isn't at all something I see, it's something I lived during my morning walk at 4:30. There were different successive experiences [which Mother has just described], and then, a very clear, very keen perception of the point at which the true experience (same twisting gesture) gets falsified. And it's not something violent, there's nothing dramatic to it, nothing at all, but ... it's clearly the difference between the Infinite and Eternal, the All-Powerful [being turned] into the individuality - the individual limitation. And for the ordinary consciousness, the usual consciousness - that is to say, the limited, individual consciousness - that experience itself is marvelous, but you are the "recipient," you are "the one who experiences." That's the point, it's the difference between the [pure] experience and, all of a sudden, "the one who experiences." And then, with that "the one who experiences," it's over, everything is distorted. Everything is distorted, but not dramatically, you understand, not like that, no. It's the difference between Truth and falsehood. It's a falsehood (how can I explain?) ... it's the difference between life and death; it's the difference between Reality and illusion. And the one IS, while the other ... remembers having been, or is a witness.
It's very subtle, really very subtle. But it's immense - immense and total.
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This body lived the Truth this morning several times for a few seconds (which might have been eternities). But it's obvious that if everything were ready for "that" to be established, it would mean omnipotence.
There was so clear an explanation - obvious, tangible - showing how it happens all the time - all the time, all the time, everywhere. And unless one experiences it, there's no way one can even understand the difference; all words are approximations. But just when it is true ... (Mother smiles blissfully) ... And then, one doesn't know if it lasted or if it doesn't last: all that has disappeared. And it doesn't abolish anything, that's the most wonderful part! Everything is there, nothing is abolished. It's only a phenomenon of consciousness. Because at such a time, everything that is becomes true, so ... I mean it abolishes nothing of the Manifestation; you don't even feel that Falsehood is abolished: it doesn't exist, it isn't. Everything can remain exactly as it is; it becomes only a question of choice. Everything becomes a question of choice: you choose this way, choose that way.... And in a splendor of joy, of beauty, of harmony, a plenitude of luminous consciousness in which there is no darkness anymore: it no longer exists. And it truly is, so to say, the choice between life and death, consciousness and unconsciousness ("unconsciousness" isn't what we call unconsciousness, the unconsciousness of the stone, it's not that). One doesn't know what consciousness is until one has experienced "that."
If it could be translated into words, it would be so pretty (that's when I understand poets!). That ineffable Presence seems to be saying, "You see, I was always there, and you didn't know it." And it's lived at the very heart of the cells: "You see, you know that I was always there, but you didn't know it." And then ... (Mother smiles on in a contemplation) ... It's a tiny nothing - which changes everything.
That's how a dead man can come back to life. That's how: through that change.
The mind dramatizes, and that's why it cannot understand. Of course, it has been useful to refine Matter, to make it more supple, to prepare things - to make Life more supple and refine Matter. But it has a taste for drama, and that's why it doesn't understand. Violent emotions, complications are its game, its amusement. Probably because it needed them. But one must really leave that aside when the time comes, when one is ready for the experience.
(silence)
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And immediately after that, the certitude - so peaceful - that everything was necessary - everything, but everything: from the most marvelous for the human consciousness to the most horrible, the most repulsive - everything was necessary. But strangely, all those things, all those experiences, all that life is what becomes unreal - unreal, worse than an act you put on for yourself: unreal. And it is in its unreality that it was necessary for the consciousness. All appreciations are purely human - purely human because they alter the measure, the proportion. Even physical suffering, material suffering, which is one of the things most difficult to feel as illusory: a lamentable act you put on for yourself, for the cells. And I am speaking from experience, with convincing examples. It's very interesting.
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