July 17, 1963

Nolini told me that every day since the Force has been on the increase, there's a shower of letters from people who cry out their misery, whether moral or material. It's a general cry for help, and, he told me, "The remarkable thing is that no one asks for material help," they all ask for my blessings and say (because they have faith) it brings them relief. He said, "It's the identical note in almost all the letters." Contacts with the outside have increased considerably; formerly, it was only with people who knew me, but now it's with scores of absolutely unknown people.

During the part of the night reserved for the work (generally between 2 and 4:30 in the morning ... it varies a little), daily now I see people whom I don't know physically - all the time, all the time, and with lots of work. The work I used to do with the people around me now seems to be spreading: I go to some places that I don't know at all. And always, always something under construction - always under construction, always. Sometimes I am even testing some new constructions, I mean I try to go this way, that way, do something, try this, try that. [[A few days afterwards, as Satprem was referring to these "constructions," Mother interrupted him with this observation: "Last night, it wasn't that way! I spent more than an hour in all the possible theosophical groups, and they had magnificent buildings! They were rather old (!), but magnificent anyway, with gardens, halls, auditoriums - magnificent places. But there was no sign of any new construction. It was solid with hundreds and hundreds of very busy people. I was there for more than two hours. Which means there are places where no construction is going on - people live in what has already been built." ]] And at the same time, I am

Page 225

working with people who, on the other hand, aren't part of those constructions - they're on the sidelines. To such a point that when I woke up this morning I said to myself, "But isn't this going to stop? Won't I get some rest!" But it was always an answer (an answer not in words but in FACTS), an instantaneous answer - taking no time, not gradual: instantaneous. [[Mother is referring to her own answer in the form of help or action. ]]

And along with this, there's a vast, "dead-calm" rest (if you know what I mean?) in that Light - probably the Light as it will manifest. It's a golden Light, not very intense or very pale either; a little less pale than the one that I said comes when I concentrate [[See last conversation, when Mother spoke of X's visit. ]]; a little more intense than that, though not dark - a golden Light, absolutely immobile, with such an inner intensity of vibration that it's beyond all perception. And then it's perfect rest - instantly. So as soon as I complain, the same ironic remark always comes: "Oh, when one can have that in the midst of work, one ought not to complain!" The two states are ... I can't say simultaneous (naturally it's not one after the other, both are there together), but it's not like two things next to each other, it's ... two ways of looking, I could say, two points - not points of view ... a horizontal look, and a look that's ... or rather, a specific look and an overall look. A specific look, that of the immediate activity, and an overall and constant look, that of the whole; and as soon as you look at the whole, it's ... (dead-calm gesture) immutable peace, unvarying rest. And then things seem to become swollen - swollen with an infinite content.

It requires no preparation, it isn't something you have to attain: it's ALWAYS there. Only, it also stems from the fact that I am not here (that's so clear, so clear, it needs no reflection or observation, it's such a well-established fact) ... I am not here for anything, anything whatsoever, any satisfaction of any sort, on any level, any point - none of that exists any more, that has no more reality, no more existence. The only thing I still FEEL is a sort of ... not an aspiration, not a will, not an adherence or enthusiasm, but something that is ... maybe it's more like a power: to do the Lord's Work. At the same time, I feel the Lord ... you understand, He isn't in front of me or outside of me! That's not it, He is everywhere and ... He

Page 226

is everywhere and I am everywhere with Him. But what holds these cells together in a permanent form is that something which is at once the will and power (and something more than both) to do the Lord's work. It contains something which probably is translated in people's consciousnesses as Bliss, Ananda (I must say it's an aspect of the problem I am not concerned with). Something like the intensity of a superlove as yet unmanifest - it's impossible to say.

Some time ago I made a discovery of that kind: someone asked me if there was any difference between Ananda and Love; I said, "No." Then he said to me, "But then how is it that some people feel Ananda while others feel Love?..." I answered him, "Yes! Those who feel Ananda are those who like to receive, who have the capacity to receive, and those who feel Love are those who have the capacity to give." But it's the same thing: you receive it as Ananda, you give it as Love.

So, probably, someone more on the "receiving" side would call that Vibration Ananda - maybe that's what people call the "joy of life," I don't know.... It has absolutely nothing to do with what human beings call joy. It's really the feeling of something full rather than empty - life as people live it, as I see them live it, is something hollow, empty, dry. Hollow. Hard and hollow together. And empty. So when I do that work, as I told you, all that's around me, all the work and everything is ... yes, it gives an impression of being dry and hollow; while when the other thing is there, you instantly get an impression of full-full-full-full - full! Overflowing, you know, no more bounds. So full that all, but all bounds are swept away, erased, gone - and there remains only That, that Something. That's why the cells remain held together - it's because of That, for That, by That. For no other reason.

It's growing increasingly constant and evident - natural, spontaneous. And the growing feeling that You - you know, the You, the You of adoration - You ... is only for the fun of it! I don't know how to explain. It's almost like a burst of laughter ... so obvious is it that there is no difference. Yes, there's only this: "Oh, it's so much fun to say 'You'!" That's how it is.

All this goes on here, in the body.

Page 227