Works of Sri Aurobindo

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QUARRELS

 

You cannot expect the whole world to be at your service and everything to happen

as you fancy it to be more convenient for you.

You must stop quarrelling with everybody and about everything; otherwise how can you expect to make any progress in yoga?

 23 September 1932  

Keep this attitude ­­­− never side with anybody nor take up any personal quarrel − think only of the Divine Peace, Harmony, Light and Happiness and become more and more their purified and quiet instrument.

 18 September 1934  

You must never forget that I disapprove of quarrels and always consider that both sides are equally wrong. To surmount one’s feelings, preferences, dislikes and impulses, is an indispensable discipline here.

 1 October 1943  

Of course, X told me the story in a very different way − but I am used to the fact that each one tells me things from a particular angle, the one which is most favourable to him − and I do not give much importance to that. There is only one thing I always regret: the useless quarrels that make life so difficult when, with a little mutual goodwill, everything could be settled harmoniously.

 21 July 1947  

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You asked me not to quarrel and to agree with one another, but I frankly say that I miss the light that can show me how to agree with X. I pray for that light. I beseech your pardon for violating your order. Would you not pardon me? You have to, Mother.

 

Pardon and blessings are there, but one way or another a different arrangement must be made to stop these quarrels.

Love and blessings.

 26 October 1948  

This is a very good opportunity to test the value of the relation.  You must absolutely stop all quarrels. They are harmful for the sadhana of both of you.

Try your level best, and if you cannot succeed, then you will have to give up the relation.

 23 September 1951  

In quarrels I never interfere, because surely both are wrong.

10 May 1953 

When two persons quarrel, always both are in the wrong.

 

It is always wrong to quarrel, even if one is not the aggressor.

 

        When you start a quarrel it is as if you were declaring war on the Divine’s work.  

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Yes, all these quarrels are a very sad thing − they interfere terribly in the work and make everything more difficult.

 

Before getting angry at the mistakes of others one should always remember one’s own mistakes.

 22 July 1954  

You must get rid of all inner as well as all outer movements of anger, impatience and dislike. If things go wrong or are done wrongly, you will simply say, “The Mother knows” and go on quietly doing or getting things done as well as you can without friction.

 

That one feels sad for one’s own faults, this may, if necessary, be useful to strengthen one’s resolution to correct them.

But that one can be offended by another’s bad conduct, this has truly nothing to do with the spiritual life and the service of the Divine.

 

To be above offence or insult makes one truly great.

 

What is to be done if a person comes to quarrel because one has accepted in one case and refused in another? What is to be done to avoid such bitterness around one, provoked by repeated refusals?  

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As for ill-will, jealousy, quarrels and reproaches, one must  sincerely be above all that and reply with a benevolent smile to the bitterest words; and unless one is absolutely sure of himself and his reactions, it would be better, as a general rule, to keep silent.

 6 October 1960  

As usual, it is only a misunderstanding, and also as usual, the ego of each one, by its reaction, magnifies the thing and aggravates it. But it is easy to arrange, and, with the goodwill of all, I am sure that all will be well.  I consider that we are at an excellent occasion for collective and individual Sadhana and that is why I engage myself in it and take special interest in it.

We do not work for the success of X’s play, or of Y’s dance, or of Z’s scenario.

We want to render in physical terms, as perfectly as possible, the inspiration sent by the Lord for the accomplishment of His work upon earth. And for that each individual soul is a helper and a collaborator, but each human ego is a limitation and an obstacle.

 1960  

It is obviously very regrettable to allow oneself to be upset by such little things, and if each one gave more thought to his work as the really important thing, all these little quarrels would be seen for what they are, that is, as utterly ridiculous.

I hope that everything will be settled soon and that harmony will reign once more among the bakery-workers.

With my blessings.

 

My blessings and my help are always with you and with  

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those who work in the bakery, so that harmony may reign among you more and more.

 

This world is full of pitiable miseries. But of all beings those are the most to be pitied who are so small and so weak that they cannot avoid being nasty.

 18 September 1963  

Hostility, recoil and distrust seem to me so useless. We could so easily be friends, each and all.

This is just what the Supreme Lord says to Himself when He sees the life of men upon earth.

Love and blessings.

 14 September 1969  

We speak of union and say we are working for it. But the spirit of quarrelling is in our midst. Shall we not conquer this insincerity?

I am here to ask you to do it. And the best way is to join in the service of the Divine.

Blessings.

 12 March 1972  

No disputes, no quarrels − the sweetness of a life without clashes.

 

Take the division out of the heart and then speak of no division.  

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