April 6, 1966
After having listened to the letters and reports read by the “secretaries”:
What about keeping quiet a little [in meditation]?… It will do me good.
These people, I can’t exactly say they tire me, but the cells feel a sort of pressure of confusion that hurts them. It’s like being caught in a stranglehold of confusion, and it hurts. And every day it’s the same thing. I tell them – they don’t believe me. They think it’s blackmail! So then … I go through a very difficult little moment, very difficult. Afterwards, it gets better again.
(meditation)
***
(Later, Mother copies out a few lines from “Savitri” which she has just translated, and her hand scratches out a word.)
Constantly, the whole time, thoroughly amusing little things happen. It was a small hand – a tiny hand – that took my hand for fun and wrote. Just for fun! So I have to be on my guard all the time!… It was someone who was laughing and laughing and laughing! It’s so living – so living, so teeming with things – and we don’t see anything. But I see. Previously I didn’t see, but now I see it all (Mother laughs). Oh, there would be so many things to tell if we had time, very funny things.
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