January 31, 1968
It’s strange, I have suddenly been forbidden to speak, as it were, and … I don’t know how to explain it, I feel as if I were talking from a distance. I don’t know how to explain. And that’s what has given me this husky voice (Mother’s voice is a little hoarse). I think it’s undergoing a sort of transformation. Previously, there used to be great control over the voice, the sound of the voice – it’s all gone! It’s as if I made something speak that’s very far from me.
It will pass.
(silence)
And for everything, everything … there is a change in the MODE of being. For the nights too: the nights are very different – all that was organized, very regular, very organized, very conscious, and now it’s all changed. And the consciousness … is, yes, constantly external to the instrument, like something like this (gesture above), very vast – very vast and supple – but constantly like this, night and day. Yet it’s the consciousness of this (Mother touches her body), of the instrument. It’s what was the body consciousness; now it’s the same consciousness but it has become something very vast, very strong, and like this (same gesture above), as if at a
Page 36
distance from the body; it acts on the body like that, all the time, to make it move. And the body doesn’t seem to be so confined to the form: it feels things some distance away, it touches things some distance away.
Strange. (Laughing) Something is going on, I don’t knew what!
* * *
(After Satprem has gone back home, Mother
sends him this note:)
This is what I tried to say this morning:
Instead of the consciousness being inside the body, it is the body which is inside the consciousness, yet it is still the body consciousness.
Page 37