November 26, 1969
(The whole time is spent in meditation.)
Nothing to say …
Every time I try to look at something, it goes away like this (gesture into the infinite).
(Mother goes off into meditation again)
Did you feel anything particular yesterday [at the darshan]?
I felt it wasn’t quite as usual, but I don’t know what.
In the morning, I had the experience of an awesome Force which came, weighing on all things. That’s also what others felt the whole day long. A force … most people told me, "A joyous force." But as
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for me, when I went there [to the balcony], the difference was that the body was more conscious of … its state of transitory uncertainty.
(Mother goes off again)
I am almost as if forbidden to speak.
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