Works of Sri Aurobindo

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October 11, 1972

(After inquiring about Satprem’s health.)

And in general is it better?

Yes. I don’t know, how do you see it yourself?

(Mother laughs) I mean, is it better on the whole? … Can’t you

 hear?

Yes, yes, of course I can hear! You mean the whole of …

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Of you?

Oh, me…. I don’t know, I’m a speck of dust … that is trying

 to be a little useful, that’s all.

(Mother nods her head)

But I don’t know what "me" is. Whenever I see that "me," it

 seems quite ridiculous and dark.

(Mother laughs)

Everything good in me isn’t "me" at all.

That I understand!

So I really don’t know.

That’s very good.

Yes, but the person I "inhabit," if I may say so, seems so dark,

so small, so … oh, so uninteresting!

Listen, it’s the Divine who made us the way we are….

Yes, Mother.

… Our unconsciousness is what prevents us from knowing it, otherwise we would always be in a kind of luminous peace, and simply: what You want, Lord, what You want … (Mother opens her hands in a gesture of total surrender). Like that.

For me – I mean, for this sort of … for this (Mother pinches the skin of her arms), which has lived so many years but doesn’t know anything anymore, and can’t do anything anymore, there’s only … (same gesture of surrender, hands offered to the Lord).

Whatever conscious will is left is used to remain attentive – attentive, absolutely still and peaceful (gesture of listening to the above). To try not to obstruct or distort what the Lord … (Mother corrects herself) what the Divine wants. That’s all. And not a personal Divine: the Divine Consciousness at work in the world.

We know nothing, we know absolutely nothing, we are totally stupid really, but if we can be like this (gesture, hands open): receptive – receptive in a silence … a silence that worships … Light, Light … a perfect Knowledge and unerring Will….

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(Mother opens her hands
long silence)

You have nothing to say?

No, Mother.

Or ask?

One always has a feeling of … yes, of always being full of all

 sorts of problems. There’s a hiatus, an increasingly painful

 chasm between a life you know is tranquil and vast, and a

 person who is…. You feel the disparity between the two is

getting more and more poignant.

Yes, that’s exactly what I am living through.

 But then I’ve learned that there’s only one way:

(Mother opens her hands)

That is it. Do you understand?

(Mother plunges in)

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