MOTHER'S AGENDA

Vol. 13

Contents

  January 1, 1972
January 2, 1972
January 5, 1972
January 8, 1972
January 12, 1972
January 15, 1972
January 19, 1972
January 22, 1972
January 26, 1972
January 29, 1972
January 30, 1972

February 1, 1972
February 2, 1972
February 5, 1972
February 7, 1972
February 8, 1972
February 9, 1972
February 10, 1972
February 11, 1972
February 12, 1972
February 16, 1972
February 19, 1972
February 22, 1972
February 23, 1972
February 26, 1972

March 1, 1972
March 4, 1972
March 8, 1972
March 10, 1972
March 11, 1972
March 15, 1972
March 17, 1972
March 18, 1972
March 19, 1972
March 22, 1972
March 24, 1972
March 25, 1972
March 29, 1972
March 29, 1972
March 30, 1972

April 2, 1972
April 2, 1972
April 3, 1972
April 4, 1972
April 5, 1972
April 6, 1972
April 8, 1972
April 12, 1972
April 13, 1972
April 15, 1972
April 19, 1972
April 22, 1972
April 26, 1972
April 29, 1972

May 4, 1972
May 6, 1972
May 7, 1972
May 13, 1972
May 17, 1972
May 19, 1972
May 20, 1972
May 24, 1972
May 26, 1972
May 27, 1972
May 29, 1972
May 31, 1972

 

June 3, 1972
June 4, 1972
June 7, 1972
June 10, 1972
June 14, 1972
June 17, 1972
June 18, 1972
June 21, 1972
June 23, 1972
June 24, 1972
June 28, 1972

July 1, 1972
July 5, 1972
July 8, 1972
July 12, 1972
July 15, 1972
July 19, 1972
July 22, 1972
July 26, 1972
July 29, 1972

August 2, 1972
August 5, 1972
August 9, 1972
August 12, 1972
August 16, 1972
August 19, 1972
August 26, 1972
August 30, 1972

September 6, 1972
September 9, 1972
September 13, 1972
September 16, 1972
September 20, 1972
September 30, 1972


October 7, 1972
October 11, 1972
October 14, 1972
October 18, 1972
October 21, 1972
October 25, 1972
October 28, 1972
October 30, 1972

 

November 2, 1972
November 4, 1972
November 8, 1972
November 11, 1972
November 15, 1972
November 18, 1972
November 22, 1972
November 25, 1972
November 26, 1972

December 2, 1972
December 6, 1972
December 9, 1972
December 10, 1972
December 13, 1972
December 16, 1972
December 20, 1972
December 23, 1972
December 26, 1972
December 27, 1972
December 30, 1972

 

January 1, 1973
January 3, 1973
January 10, 1973
January 13, 1973
January 17, 1973
January 20, 1973
January 24, 1973
January 31, 1973


February 3, 1973
February 7, 1973
February 8, 1973
February 14, 1973
February 17, 1973
February 18, 1973
February 21, 1973
February 28, 1973


March 3, 1973
March 7, 1973
March 10, 1973
March 14, 1973
March 17, 1973
March 19, 1973
March 21, 1973
March 24, 1973
March 26, 1973
March 28, 1973
March 30, 1973
March 31, 1973


April 7, 1973
April 8, 1973
April 10, 1973
April 11, 1973
April 14, 1973
April 18, 1973
April 25, 1973
April 29, 1973
April 30, 1973


May 3, 1973
May 9, 1973
May 14, 1973
May 15, 1973
May 15, 1973
May 19, 1973
And Now


HOME

 

ISBN 2-902776-33-0

March 29, 1972

(That same day, after Malraux, the conversation took a com

pletely different turn, which is why we publish it separately,

 although under the same date.)

Page 109


I had a feeling I had something to give you....

Did they give you a tape-recording? ... I had said something to R. and to Sujata.

Is it good?

Yes, Mother, yes, it was good! We could perhaps publish it? It

 was about the vision you had of your own transitional body.

I simply wanted to make sure you had received it. [[Actually, Satprem was only given the recording with Sujata, not the other one. ]]

Yes, Mother, it's extremely interesting.... Did you see anything

 new since that vision of the new body?

No. It's something totally new for me - it was the first time and it seems it's going to be the last.

(silence)

My body has asked for ... (it is in a constant state of aspiration, you know), it has asked for.... It feels (I don't know how to explain it), it feels the complete Presence of the Divine, I mean in all things, everywhere, all the time, as if it were at once enveloped and permeated by it - and it asked for something even more concrete. Then, a kind of Consciousness answered me that the body wasn't given a more complete perception because it would still feel like ... (what shall I say?) fusing into the Divine, and then the cells would ... (gesture of explosion). So the body would lose its form.

Oh, I see!

Something like that, you understand? And I felt it was very true. I felt it.

For instance, eating is still a major problem - it's been ages since I've derived any pleasure from eating, but now it's become a real problem; well, any cellular contact with the divine Presence magnifies those things [like refusing food]. I mean all external processes - food and so on - seem then so cumbersome! Without a doubt the next creation will use something else, another way of staying alive, but we don't yet know what it is. I have a feeling

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 there already exists a certain type of food - an intermediary type of food - which is no longer like the old kind but isn't yet ... [the direct absorption of energy], and which has a minimal material basis. But we don't know anything about it, we don't know, nobody knows, we are still inexperienced; we have to find it - but how? Nobody knows about it; nobody can say do this or do that. I don't know.

The only thing we really know is glucose.

Yes.

That's what they give to people who can't eat normally.

Yes, that's what the doctor told me; he told me to take glucose. I take some, but is that enough in itself ?

(silence)

How does glucose enter the bloodstream?

I think it's directly assimilated.

But what does directly mean? You have to swallow it.

Yes, of course, you have to swallow it!

And how....

It goes into the stomach and enters the bloodstream through the intestinal walls. [[Satprem claims no scientific accuracy! ]]

Oh, that's how! It doesn't go through the kidneys?

Yes, Mother, automatically. After entering the blood, there's

 elimination through the kidneys.

Ah!

Always, I think.

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But does the glucose itself change into blood?

No, I think the intestinal walls absorb it and the necessary

chemical reactions take place during this absorption through

 the walls - I think (!)

Oh, that's how it is.

Yes, Mother, at least I think so.

Is there anything else besides glucose that works like that.)

In liquid form, yes. There is glucose or very pure fruit juice

- which is more or less the same thing.

That's almost all I take: glucose and fruit juice.

But many yogis - at least some - had the capacity to absorb

 energy directly, Mother, without eating. There are many such

 stories from the past.

Yes, but I don't know if they're true.

You don't know if they're true? ... They are quite common,

 though, and often cited.

All that Sri Aurobindo told me is that people always eat too much. That was his experience. He went forty days without food, you know. [[Sri Aurobindo is known to have fasted for 10 days while imprisoned at Alipore's jail in 1908-1909, and a second time for 23 days at a stretch, in 1910, soon after his arrival at Pondicherry. Of this second experiment he said later, "I very nearly solved the problem." ]] I myself went without food (I don't remember for how long) and felt I was receiving nourishment directly, [[Mother even told Satprem that when she had once fasted for ten days, she had found the fragrance of flowers to be "nourishing." See Agenda VI, November 27, 1965. ]] it simply passed through like this (gesture through the pores of the skin).

But couldn't you again use that sort of thing now, through the

 breathing process?

Yes, but I lost a tremendous amount of weight, you see, which

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 means that I wasn't getting the proper nourishment, I was feeding on my body.

But I haven't lost too much weight now, have I? I don't know, I can't see.

Since when?

Since I was supposedly ill.

No, not since then.

No?

No, I don't find you have.

I went foodless for a few days - almost without food.

No, I don't see any change. Although, of course, there is so

 little left of your body! [Laughter]

I am pretty thin! ... I can't see, you know. But I don't look thinner than usual, do I?

No, you don't, Mother. But getting any thinner would be difficult!

If something new comes, I'll tell you.... Is today Wednesday? If something comes, she [Sujata] can come in, just come in, and if there's something new I'll tell her.

Yes, Mother. As a matter of fact, Sujata has been wondering

 about her visits to you: she is afraid of imposing her presence,

 of disturbing you.

No, she doesn't disturb me! I'll give her a flower and she can leave, unless I have something to tell her. It's better that way; every day she'll know if there's something to tell you.

Yes, Mother, every day - but she was getting the feeling she

 was ... intruding upon you!

No, not at all! It's not that. I am inundated with people so I had

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 to stop, but it was mostly birthdays, things like that. But she can come, bring me her flowers, take flowers from me, and if I have something to tell her, I'll tell her, otherwise she'll leave immediately. Is it all right like that?

(Sujata aside:
"My thought is mainly for Mother.')

Sujata says it's all right, but what about you?

For me it's fine. It doesn't tire me.

She's a little.... I don't know, she has something of a heavy

 heart. [[In fact, Sujata was beginning to come up against the invisible wall put up by Mother's entourage, who thought Mother was seeing too much of Sujata. What is clear through this conversation is that Mother felt the need to remain in daily contact with Satprem. The scene that follows has something so poignant about it, as if Mother already sensed that the connection was going to be severed. This is just a prelude. ]]

Why?

Well, exactly because of that.

Oh, no! Come here, mon petit! Oh, no, not at all.

(Sujata comes near Mother)

You know ... you see, the consciousness is very clear, clearer than it has ever been, but I can't speak - something has to be found. So I am unable to tell you, but I am always happy to see you. I haven't said anything these last days because "saying" means explaining.... But I am always happy to see you, I have thought of you very, very, VERY, often - you understand? ... Do you understand?

You don't seem to understand.

(Sujata:) Yes, Mother, I do.

In any case, one thing you know: I tell the truth. If I say I am happy to see you, it means I am happy to see you. That you understand.

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Yes, Mother.

What is it, mon petit? You've been hurt, did someone hurt you?

Very hurt, Mother.

Why, mon petit? Did someone tell you something?

No, Mother, I was simply told that you see me far too often,

 and ... and that you didn't want to see me. [[These were the exact words of the attendant, whose name will come up again. Mother would often ask, "Where is Sujata? Where is Sujata?" and the unvarying reply was, "She's not here." Actually, we understand it now, Mother would have liked Sujata to become her personal assistant after Vasudha, but she knew the importance of Sujata's work with Satprem, so she never asked. Had this been otherwise, the subsequent course of events would have changed. ]]

But that's not true! I never said that to anybody. [[As an illustration we are tempted to publish here a letter Mother wrote to Sujata's father, Prithwi Singh, way back in February 1951. Barely two months after Sri Aurobindo's passing, certain inmates of the Ashram were already showing their true colors: "My dear child," Mother wrote, "I am not aware of having said anything that could give you the slightest pain- so I advise you not to listen to what people say. Most of them take a very great pleasure in disturbing others, and when they have nothing nasty to repeat they invent." ]]

Well, Mother, each time, I see Sujata's name just crossed off

 [the list of visitors], so I take it that you don't have time or

 don't wish to see Sujata. So Sujata simply withdraws.

Who said that?

No one: I am telling you. That's how it happens.

But it's not true!

It is, Mother, that's what happens every time.

It's not true. It's not true that not to see you makes me happy - it's not true. I don't understand. I am not the source of that.

Well, practically, that's what happens. The slightest thing, and

 Sujata's name is crossed off. So I take it that you don't have

 time or don't wish or don't like to....

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But that's not true! It's not true, mon petit! These last few days, I stopped everything because I had to, but again and again I thought it would be good if you were here. Only ... you see my difficulty to speak, so....

Listen to me now - will you do as I say? Come to see me every day. Come to see me every day as before. If I have nothing to say, I'll give you flowers; if there is something I want you to convey to Satprem, I will tell you. But come, just come.

The time will be more or less the same as before. You came after who?

I used to come after R.

Well then, come after R. That's settled: you come every day after R. I even had practical things for you to do: sometimes I rearrange my cupboards and I may have things to give you and explain to you [[Mother often called for Sujata for typing and filing her notes, messages, translations, etc., or else for conveying something to Satprem. Apart from typing work, Sujata also looked after Mother's toiletry and perfumery. ]] ; and I was thinking, "I must see her every day."

If it's all right with you, come every day after R. If I have something to say, I will tell you; if I have nothing to say, I'll give you some flowers. But never, never think that I don't want to see you, it's not true - it's a BIG lie, it's not true. It's a big lie.

You know, you must be sure of one thing: I say things exactly as they are. I may say them poorly, but I say exactly what is true. I can't speak very well nowadays, I find it difficult, but the consciousness is clear. So I am telling you: I want to see you every day. Understood?

Yes, Mother.

Good.

(Sujata returns to her place
Satprem comes near Mother)

That's what it is: I have difficulty speaking, I immediately ... (Mother gasps for breath). There's obviously something happening here (Mother touches her chest).

But the consciousness is clearer and stronger than EVER before. And I see that people think I am getting senile because I can't

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 speak anymore. But the consciousness is clearer and stronger than ever before.

It's perceptibly stronger. It's quite perceptible.

(after a silence)

The biggest difficulty is this: if only there were someone to tell me what I should take.... Although I must say glucose is what I drink the most easily - so I'll just take more of it.

I think it's the only physical, material means; people who are

 hospitalized for months at a time take only glucose (usually in

travenously). Well Mother, you can be fed that way indefinitely.

Good. It's all right, then. [[Mother was never allowed to live her experience. A few days after she left her body, in a speech before the assembled disciples, Pranab, Mother's "bodyguard," ingenuously declared: "According to the advice of Dr. Sanyal, we were to give Her about 20 to 25 ozs. of food every day. It consisted of a little vegetable soup, milk with some protein compound, paste made of almonds, mushrooms, artichokes or things like that and some fruit juice at the end.... All those who were in the courtyard below [Mother's room] must have heard how we had to fight with Her to make Her eat a little." [Original English] This fight over food (to mention only one) created a sharp conflict in Mother's body; she was torn between their suggestions - "If you don't eat, you're going to die" - and the thrust of the Experience. ]]

I'll see you Saturday; and if I have something, I'll tell you through Sujata.

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