May 9, 1973

(Today Mother is very late, she has Satprem and Sujata called in

 before the other disciples. She immediately takes Satprem's hands.

It is heartrending.)

Something's wrong. Something's wrong. I see you....

Something's wrong.

What's wrong, Mother?

I feel like screaming.... But....

(silence)

I am eating less and less, so I am constantly uncomfortable - and so weak! [[That day, I felt that the movement was going to accelerate and a time would come when a radically different way would have to be found-perhaps the supreme Pressure of death is necessary to release the "almighty powers shut in Nature's cells" that Sri Aurobindo mentions in Savitri? As though the supreme Power could only be released by the supreme contradiction of power-and Death shall reveal its mask of immortality. ]] Yet, I feel so strong! ... But there's.... That's how it is.

When I am still, I have such a power - an almost limitless power.

Yes. Yes, it's very tangible.

Like that.

But when I am in my body, I feel so uncomfortable....

Yes, Mother, I understand.

And then everything takes up so much time! I haven't seen anybody this morning. They're all here [waiting at the door]. What can I do, mon petit?

Oh, Mother.... We love you, Mother.

Eh?

We love you.

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What?

We love you, we have much love for you.

I don't even know what you're saying!

I'm saying that I love you.

Oh, mon petit....

(Mother plunges in

 holding Satprem's hands. [[During that meditation, I was trying to pass all my life force into Mother's body. ]]

Then Champaklal's bell rings,

 twice, three times.)

What is the time?

Eleven o'clock, Mother.

Ten o'clock?

No, Mother, eleven.

Thank you, mon petit.

Oh, Mother....

Thank you, mon petit.

We need you, Mother.

Thank you.

Oh! ... Oh, thank you, mon petit....

Ah, Mother, what Grace to be here with you.

(Satprem rests his forehead on Mother's knees)

Good-bye, Mother.

 

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