ISBN 2-902776-33-0
(Mother is late)
There's a concrete proof (not always convenient) that supramental time is not the same as physical time.... Sometimes, a few seconds seem, oh, endless, while at other times several hours go by in an instant. And concretely so. The result: I am late, I am always late.
But what can I do? I don't know.
(silence)
The consciousness is really changing - not the deeper consciousness (which is becoming clearer and clearer), but the consciousness we might call "practical" is in the process of changing in quite a striking way.
I'll be eating, and suddenly everything present vanishes, and long afterwards, I realize I am like this (gesture, one hand suspended in midair), with a spoon in my hand! ... Not very practical! (Laughter)
Page 190
But during that time, when you suddenly go off ...
Oh, it's quite interesting! But I don't "go off," you see.... I am not at all in a trance, not at all: I am wide awake and FULLY active. I see things, I do things, I hear people, I ... the whole time. But I forget - I simply forget about material life. Then someone comes and abruptly calls me back.
I don't go out of material life, but ... it appears different.
(silence)
Nothing to ask?
No, Mother.
Or to say?
No, Mother, not really.... I am in the course of revising the
"Sannyasin," the book I wrote a few years ago, and I must say
that all those experiences from above just seem so pale
now....
Ahh!
Almost like a dream ...
Yes.
... compared to what there is now.
So true!
I really think the physical world is changing. People will probably notice it only in a few hundred years, because it takes a long time for it to become visible to the ordinary consciousness. But the touch (Mother feels the air between her fingers), feels ... as if a different texture.
From time to time, something tells me, "Don't talk, don't talk!" I have to keep quiet otherwise people around me would think I am becoming deranged.
!!!
(long silence)
Page 191
You say it isn't the way you see the physical world that's
changing but the very quality of matter?
Yes, yes, it's not at all my own way of seeing - not at all.... I don't know.... But it's odd.
You see, I have at the same time (to speak in the old way), at the same time the CONCRETE experience of a tre-men-dous Power and of total impotence.
The old methods, the methods that even yesterday were effective and powerful, all seem nonexistent. Yet, side by side, when that Force comes, I concretely feel (and I have proof, a factual proof) that a simple expression of will, or even a simple vision of something is ... (Mother lowers her hands) all-powerful. Materially so. Some people on their deathbeds are returned to life; some healthy people, brrt, suddenly pass away - to that extent, you know. Circumstances that seemed inextricable find marvelous solutions - people themselves say it's miraculous. It's not miraculous to me, it's very simple: just like this (Mother lowers a finger). But it's INDISPUTABLE. Indisputable and new in the world. No longer the old method, no longer a mental concentration or a mental vision, none of that (Mother lowers a finger): a fact.
A fact.
I am myself still too much tied to ... [people's thoughts]. Thank God (Mother sweeps her hand across her forehead), the mind is gone! Ah, you know, I am ... what an extraordinary blessing it is! But from the ordinary external standpoint, I seem to have become an utter imbecile.
!!!
It's good that I have someone like you near me who knows there's something else [than what they think].
Oh, indeed! [laughing] Indeed, there's "something else"!
And I feel such a force, you know.... When I rest, I don't sleep, I consciously enter that supramental activity, and.... Oh, mon petit! ... I see myself doing things with such a fabulous power! And there's no longer any ... you see, when I speak, I am forced to use "I," but it corresponds to nothing, it's ... it's the Consciousness, it's a consciousness. A consciousness that knows and has power. Yes, a CONSCIOUSNESS; not a person but a consciousness -
Page 192
a consciousness that knows and acts. And which uses this (Mother points to her body) to keep a contact with people.
Yes, that's it, it's not a person anymore - sometimes, you know (laughing), I feel like a puppet (gesture of dangling at the end of a string) whose purpose is to enable contact with people. But the physical strength is like this (wobbly gesture).... I feel very strong - very strong, and almost nonexistent. Both extremes together, you understand.... I must really look stupid.
But there (Mother stretches her arms upwards, then slowly extends them as if to embrace the universe), it's luminous, it's clear, it's strong, it's wide.... Physically, too. It is PHYSICAL, that's what is amazing! Before, I used to withdraw into an inner state of being (I know them all, I've experienced them, I've had a conscious life), but all that, all that is ... finished. Completely finished.... (Smiling) As if the physical world were becoming double. [["He discovered the two worlds, eternal and in one nest." (Rig Veda, I.62.7) ]]
Naturally, to the ordinary eye, I am still an old woman sitting in a chair and unable to move freely. Although at times, I suddenly feel that if I stood up, I could walk perfectly well.... But something tells me, "Patience, patience, patience ..." So I wait.
And there's a persistent idea (hammering gesture) that if I can reach, if my body can reach one hundred, it will become young again. It's very persistent, but doesn't come from me, it's like this (hammering gesture from above), so that I remain patient (although I am not impatient). Patience.
From now to one hundred is six years?
Yes, six years, Mother, it's not much.
But the body's capacities will change BEFORE its appearance changes - the appearance changes LAST; and I don't know, that never enters the picture.
What really matters is how the Consciousness can use this. It's not that I will become young again, it's not "young," it's another type of capacity that will emerge and use this body. Will it transform it? Or will it use it for another purpose? That I don't know.... I don't know. Strangely enough, only when you are here do I speak or think about these things, as if it were necessary for someone to know - otherwise, I never think about these things (gesture of hands open). [193]
Sometimes I spend hours in contemplation doing a very, very
Page 193
active work. Sometimes there are a few minutes ... a few minutes of silence and contemplation ... that last hours. And they seem like a few minutes. That's how it is.
(silence)
And you?
I'm all right, Mother.
Oh, mon petit ... (Mother takes Satprem's hands).
You overwhelm me.
Something ... (Mother leans towards Satprem) something in me takes you in my arms and embraces you very, very tenderly.
(contemplation)
Page 194