MOTHER'S AGENDA

Vol. 13

Contents

  January 1, 1972
January 2, 1972
January 5, 1972
January 8, 1972
January 12, 1972
January 15, 1972
January 19, 1972
January 22, 1972
January 26, 1972
January 29, 1972
January 30, 1972

February 1, 1972
February 2, 1972
February 5, 1972
February 7, 1972
February 8, 1972
February 9, 1972
February 10, 1972
February 11, 1972
February 12, 1972
February 16, 1972
February 19, 1972
February 22, 1972
February 23, 1972
February 26, 1972

March 1, 1972
March 4, 1972
March 8, 1972
March 10, 1972
March 11, 1972
March 15, 1972
March 17, 1972
March 18, 1972
March 19, 1972
March 22, 1972
March 24, 1972
March 25, 1972
March 29, 1972
March 29, 1972
March 30, 1972

April 2, 1972
April 2, 1972
April 3, 1972
April 4, 1972
April 5, 1972
April 6, 1972
April 8, 1972
April 12, 1972
April 13, 1972
April 15, 1972
April 19, 1972
April 22, 1972
April 26, 1972
April 29, 1972

May 4, 1972
May 6, 1972
May 7, 1972
May 13, 1972
May 17, 1972
May 19, 1972
May 20, 1972
May 24, 1972
May 26, 1972
May 27, 1972
May 29, 1972
May 31, 1972

 

June 3, 1972
June 4, 1972
June 7, 1972
June 10, 1972
June 14, 1972
June 17, 1972
June 18, 1972
June 21, 1972
June 23, 1972
June 24, 1972
June 28, 1972

July 1, 1972
July 5, 1972
July 8, 1972
July 12, 1972
July 15, 1972
July 19, 1972
July 22, 1972
July 26, 1972
July 29, 1972

August 2, 1972
August 5, 1972
August 9, 1972
August 12, 1972
August 16, 1972
August 19, 1972
August 26, 1972
August 30, 1972

September 6, 1972
September 9, 1972
September 13, 1972
September 16, 1972
September 20, 1972
September 30, 1972


October 7, 1972
October 11, 1972
October 14, 1972
October 18, 1972
October 21, 1972
October 25, 1972
October 28, 1972
October 30, 1972

 

November 2, 1972
November 4, 1972
November 8, 1972
November 11, 1972
November 15, 1972
November 18, 1972
November 22, 1972
November 25, 1972
November 26, 1972

December 2, 1972
December 6, 1972
December 9, 1972
December 10, 1972
December 13, 1972
December 16, 1972
December 20, 1972
December 23, 1972
December 26, 1972
December 27, 1972
December 30, 1972

 

January 1, 1973
January 3, 1973
January 10, 1973
January 13, 1973
January 17, 1973
January 20, 1973
January 24, 1973
January 31, 1973


February 3, 1973
February 7, 1973
February 8, 1973
February 14, 1973
February 17, 1973
February 18, 1973
February 21, 1973
February 28, 1973


March 3, 1973
March 7, 1973
March 10, 1973
March 14, 1973
March 17, 1973
March 19, 1973
March 21, 1973
March 24, 1973
March 26, 1973
March 28, 1973
March 30, 1973
March 31, 1973


April 7, 1973
April 8, 1973
April 10, 1973
April 11, 1973
April 14, 1973
April 18, 1973
April 25, 1973
April 29, 1973
April 30, 1973


May 3, 1973
May 9, 1973
May 14, 1973
May 15, 1973
May 15, 1973
May 19, 1973
And Now


HOME

 

ISBN 2-902776-33-0

April 7, 1973

(The last few days, Mother saw very few people. She remained

 absorbed within. The previous meeting, on April 4, was spent

 in complete silence. Mother gives me flowers, holds my hand

 in hers and remains silent for a while. She is so white ...)

I seem to be gathering all the world's resistances.... They come to me one after another, and if I weren't.... If I stop calling the Divine for a single minute, intimately feeling his presence within me, the pain is unbearable, mon petit! To such a point that I now hesitate to speak of "transformation" to people, because if that's what it is, one really has to be a hero.... You see, there's something in the body that would almost howl nonstop.

Yet it looks to me that there is something VERY simple to be done to make it all right.... But I don't know what.

(silence)

Sometimes I wonder, "Does the Lord want me to leave?" I am quite ... quite willing, you know, so that's not the point; but does He want me to stay? ... No answer. No answer except "Transformation." And that is ....

I truly, truly sense there is something to be done that would make everything go right - but I don't know what it is.

(long silence)

What about you?

Well, I was asking myself many questions about you ....

Ask, I don't know if....

No, no, I mean questions concerning You.

Me?

I sense there's an increasingly faster movement that's ... that's

absorbing you.

Yes, yes, it's quite true.

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You see, I have a solution for the transformation of the body, but ... it's never been done before, so it's extremely ... hard to believe. I cannot, I cannot believe that that's it. Yet, it's the only solution I see.... The body has a wish to go to sleep and awake ... ("sleep" in a certain sense, of course: I remain perfectly conscious in consciousness, in the movement) and awake only after it is transformed ...

(Satprem, wordlessly:) Sleeping Beauty!

... but people will never have the patience to stand it, to take care of me. The task is colossal, a herculean task; they're nice (Mother points to the bathroom), but they're already doing their utmost, and I can't ask for more.

That's the problem.

Yet, it's the only solution to which the consciousness assents: "Yes, that's it."

For, you see ... there's a certain state - yes, a state like this (Mother closes a fist), sell-absorbed, in which you are ... at peace. But who? Who? To ask that of the people who take care of me is almost impossible.

I don't know, but lately I've had a sort of feeling that you were going to "withdraw" in some way; that you were more and more absorbed and that, well, you would have to have less and less contact with the outside world for a certain period.

Yes. Yes, but then everyone will think it's ... it's the end, and they won't take care of me anymore.

Oh, come on! Of course not!

(Sujata:) Oh, no!...

(Satprem:) That's not possible! People will understand. At least

 a few will.

What?

A few people will understand - and especially those who are

 here with you.

They are the ones who can understand.

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Yes.... I'm sure they do.

But I can't ask them.

Well, we can tell them - I can tell them.

Yes.... Will he [[Satprem had heard, "Will THEY believe you?" But Mother did say "he" = Pranab. ]] believe you?

(Perplexed:) ... Well, I think so!

(Sujata:) In any case, they're right here, they're listening.

(Satprem:) But I feel this strongly. Plainly you wish to have

 less and less contact with a host of external things which are

 of no use to your real work.

But we must, we must ... (Mother gasps for breath, she moans, silence).

He is going to come. If you stay here long enough, he'll come, and you can tell him.

Pranab? ... All right.

I could - perhaps I could say to him, "I have asked Satprem to explain to you..." And you'll explain to him in detail.

Yes, yes, Mother, certainly.

I can tell you they're absolutely wonderful already; they do their utmost, that's why I don't dare ask him. You'll tell him I told you so.

Yes, Mother.

(silence)

I appear to ... (smiling), I appear to be "fanciful," totally whimsical: I say yes, and the next instant I say no. So people get the impression....

No, no, Mother! No, no.

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But my head, my consciousness is clear, clear, clear.... But I can't talk anymore.

(long silence)

Tell me when he comes, because I want to tell him right away.

Yes, Mother.

(Mother is about to plunge in but notices she has flowers for

 Sujata on her knees. Sujata comes near her

 and gives her a lotus)

What is it?

A white lotus, Mother. [[The white lotus of the divine Mother (the pink lotus is Sri Aurobindo's flower). ]]

Ah! ... (Mother gives the lotus to Satprem) Here.

What do you prefer: to have my hand [to meditate] or not?

(Satprem:) On the contrary, I like very much that you hold me, Mother!

You like it?

Yes, hold me TIGHT.

Good.

(Mother plunges in)

What do you feel: am I drawing some force from you or giving you some?

(Satprem, a little flabbergasted:) But you fill me! You ... you

 make me wide, you overwhelm me!

Oh, good.

But, Mother, it's a real....

Yes, it's in the consciousness, I know - it depends on the receptivity.

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Why, it's a fantastic Grace!

(Mother plunges in again,

 then comes back rather abruptly

 and says in a voice from above)

If I ask you to come more often, would you be able to?

Anytime, Mother, at any moment!

Every day.

Yes, Mother.

Around eleven o'clock, like now.

Yes, Mother, certainly. [[The next time, after the intervention of Mother's attendant ("There are still too many people"), and perhaps other persons from Mother's entourage, the "every day" was reduced to three times a week, then two, then none. ]]

Naturally, she comes with you if she wants to.

(Mother plunges in again)

(Enter Pranab. The attendant briefly explains to him that

"Satprem has something to tell him on Mother's behalf." She

 had in fact listened to the whole conversation. Instant outburst

 of anger from Pranab. He shouts from the other end of the room.)

(Pranab, in Bengali:) Nonsense! Nobody can fool me. I know everything.

(Then in English, quoting a Bengali saying:) Our bed is sea,

 what do we care for this dew?

(Mother comes out of her concentration,

 she speaks to Satprem:)

Tell me if you're tired.

(Satprem:) No, Mother, but Pranab is here.

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Oh, he's here! Call him. [[The rest of this conversation took place in English. The entire conversation, including the beginning in French, is available on cassette. ]]

(Pranab, in a dreadful tone:) Yes, Mother?

I have.... I can't speak.

(Pranab:) Don't speak Mother! [The attendant laughs.]

I have asked Satprem to explain to you what is happening - why I must make a change....

(Pranab:) Mother, I am not interested, Mother.

No?

I am not interested - whatever happens, happens. I am there to stand up to the last - whatever happens, happens.

(Mother tries to speak,

Pranab cuts her short)

I am neither reasoning nor doing anything. And I don't

want to listen also, Mother. [The attendant laughs.] I under

stand fully. And let me go on with my own light - own convic

tion, own faith, own strength, own will. [Pranab raises his

head as if he were talking to a crowd] And I don't want to

 listen, Mother, anything from anybody.

But you don't want to know? ...

No, Mother, I don't want.

(silence.

Mother is perfectly still,

 her hands folded on her knees)

(Pranab:) It's perfectly all right. I have come with something, I

stand by something, and if it does not come, I don't mind - I am

 a sportsman, Mother. And I don't want to listen to any explana

tion. Because whatever explanation is given, if the object for

 which I came does not materialize, it is the same thing to me.

Page 394


No, it's because there is an attempt to transform the body ....

That will happen - when it happens, we shall see, Mother ....

Why to predict?

(Satprem:) No, no, meanwhile, for this work, she may have to go as if in an inner sleep....

(Pranab:) Let her go! What is there!

(Satprem:) So then we have to....

(Pranab:) That she has told me. Long before Mother has told me.

 It is not a new thing, Mother! You had told me, explained to me.

Then, it's all right.

(Pranab:) I don't want to listen to anything, Mother. Let it happen - what will happen will happen, and we shall do the best. That's all.

(Satprem:) No, the thing is that people should not disturb her too much.

(Now Pranab explodes

. Half standing, half kneeling,
his fist on one knee,

 he pours out a torrent on Mother)

WHO is disturbing her? If anybody is disturbing you, Mother,

 amongst us, he can be off! [The attendant laughs] Nobody

 disturbs.

(Satprem, appalled: [[Appalled at what is being thrown on Mother. ]] ) No, no!...

(Mother tries to say something,

 Pranab cuts her off)

Mother, don't, don't tell anything. You go on: eat, sleep and

 work, and don't try to make anybody explain me. I know what

 it is, what everything is.

 Better everybody keeps quiet!

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All right. All right, then.

I don't want to hear anything from anybody.

All right, then.

(Pranab goes to the other end of the room.
He shouts for the benefit of Dr. Sanyal,
Champaklal, Mother's attendant and
Vasudha, who are all present.)

(Pranab:) I have my faith, I have my conviction, I have my pur

pose, and even if I am in the dark....

(Satprem to Mother:) Shall I come tomorrow at eleven, Mother?

(Pranab:) All that humbug, I don't like.

Yes, mon petit, you'll leave a little before [Pranab's arrival] ... that's all.

(Satprem:) Shall I come at eleven or a little before?

A short while, till 11:25.

(Satprem:) Right, Mother. Understood, Mother. Good-bye, Mother.

(Pranab:) All those who like fuss, let them continue with the fuss.

(Satprem stands up to leave,
Mother takes his hands.
Her voice is like a child's)

So. Thank you.

(Pranab:) There are many people to do fuss - I think most of

 them.

(Sujata lays her forehead

 on Mother's knees)

Mon petit....

(Satprem, in a choked voice:) Good-bye, Mother.

Page 396


(Pranab:) In thirty years I've seen enough - enough of humbug!

***

(Satprem leaves the room. He holds the white lotus tightly in

 his hands. Something terrible has just happened, he does not

 know what. It was not a man who was standing in that

 room.... On his way out, he meets Sujata's brother and spon

taneously, as if he suddenly saw it all, tells him, "One day

they are going to close Mother's door on us.")

Page 397